American Spirits and Old Spice. This scent makes up my world. I go to bed dreaming of this smell and I wake up yearning for it. I’m so enamored with the boy that this smell comes from. It does not matter that cigarette smoke from anybody else makes me choke and retreat to cleaner air. It does not matter that I disagree with smoking and the damage it causes. This combination of scents makes me feel like I am in a warm cocoon. I have stopped trying to get the boy that I love to stop smoking. He’ll do it in his own time and he is the only one that can come to that decision. I would stop for him in a second if I could.
Since I have come to know this boy and myself as I am today, I would not be the same without these scents. I catch a whiff of Old Spice and immediately, usually subconsciously, I am looking for him. His shirts that have that scent lingering around the collar still lull me to sleep on bad nights. The smell envelops me and takes me to a far away place where it is just me and him. I love him and I cannot be mad at him for smoking. The thought of him continuing smoking scares me but I know that one day he will stop. He is the only person I have ever made this exception for. He is so special. I wish he could see it like I do. I would spend all day looking into his sky blue eyes if I could.
That’s another thing about him. Those damned eyes. It took one look into those eyes when I was a sophomore and I have been his ever since. Those eyes are a magical blue. They can draw you in and you would never even realize it until you came back to reality. I see love and future in those eyes. I wonder what he sees when he looks into mine. I’m always trying to guess what he is thinking. He is always so stoic when it comes to emotions. When he has let me in, the moments have felt sacred. Religious. The connection we share is so much more than skin deep. It could be cosmic. It feels like true love. Maybe this love was destined from the second we spoke in a crowded high school cafeteria. All I know is that everything in my life had lined up for him to come back into my life when he did. Him and his Old Spice and cigarettes.