I can remember the best week of my life vividly. I told my parents I was going to spend the week with a friend but I spent night after night with him. We lived off of Chik Fil A and going to the movies in Myrtle Beach. We watched Weekend at Bernie’s and made pizza rolls. I clogged up the toilet. I never laughed harder. I felt free and loved and I never wanted to forget how that felt. I cried after he dropped me off at home after that week. “Home,” which has never truly felt like home, was even more alien to me after that week.
I just want to go back to that. I sobbed and bawled at the thought of never feeling that freedom and love again. I still long for that lack of responsibility and amount of adventure. I’m afraid that I’ll never feel that again. I tried to remember every single emotion from every single minute but I’m starting to forget some parts. I just want that week back amidst everything that has happened recently. I want more than anything for our love to last through college.
He makes me so excited to wake up in the morning. A year and three months ago I didn’t feel like that. The bad feelings I tried to suppress for so long are here and I’m trying so hard to fight them. I’ve been thinking about that week. That innocent happiness seems so far away to me now. I want that back. I need that back. I felt amazing, he was and is still amazing. That week was straight from whatever heaven there might be. I wish there was a world with only me and him.