I always think of one day. One day in a future that I can hardly wait for. The future I dream of involves him and his goodness. Always him and his inherent goodness that I have fallen in love with over and over again everyday. Maybe one day that goodness will include a child of our own with a head of light brown hair just like his. I hope. I think about it often, mostly before I fall asleep. It is calming to dream of a reality where my pieces are whole and glued together and I can be made happy by the things that should make me happy in this life.
If I have done anything right, it has been him. Meeting him, kissing him, holding him, falling in love with him. He does not see me as disjointed pieces being held together by luck. I am whole and I am a force of nature to him. That fact empowers me on my worst days and makes me even stronger on my best. One day, I hope that the bond we share now becomes permanent and I can sleep next to the man who has helped me in ways that he does not even know every night. I love him and I want to marry him and everything I have never found myself deserving of. I want it with him. I do, I do, I do. Only with him, forever.